As many of you know, this column usually features articles dealing with the field of community media whether it is reporting on the latest technological developments or spreading the news about some public event, my mission has always been the same, to inform, question and advocate for the support of public access to media and giving the residents of Malden a voice in their own community through the resources of MATV, Malden’s Media Center.
But sometimes I get very personal in my column as I did when I wrote about the death of my mother, (“Cherished Memoires”-Wakefield Observer-2/5/04) or when my wife Pat had her ruptured appendix and almost died (“Peddling a Prayer for Pat”, Malden Observer 1-08).
Unfortunately, the time has come once again when I feel I have to write about something quite personal because on December 4th my dear wife, Patricia Galvin-Cox passed away after putting up a courageous battle against Muscular Dystrophy. She had been diagnosed in 1999 and for the past 11 years as her body and muscles slowly succumbed to its debilitating effects, she valiantly fought for her way back so many times. It was a combination of her stubbornness, her will to live and the love we had between us that kept her going.
But ultimately, it was her damaged body that gave way and her heart finally got tired and just gave out. We had been married for 24 years but more importantly, we had been together for 43yrs. Those twenty years living in sin were the happiest of my life. She was my best friend, my soul mate and a loving second mother to my daughter, Kristen.
I have been overwhelmed by the outpouring of sympathy and support that I have received from this community. So many people, not only family and friends by even strangers have given me comfort. With each hug and expression of consolation, it has given me solace and helped me through this heartbreaking ordeal. I want to publically thank you all and it has reassured me that I did indeed, make the right decision to move back to work and live in my old home town of Malden.
This disease had become a tragic part of our lives but it will never overshadow the love we had for each other and although there is a hole as deep as the sea and as wide as the sky inside my soul, it is those incredible memories of our life together that will sustain me. She was an adventurous woman who loved nature, traveling and life itself. She lived in a tree house on the Molokai shore, sailed the Caribbean entertaining tourists as she danced in St. Thomas. We hiked the Grand Canyon and the mountains of Arcadia National Park. We had traveled cross country and too so many places and experienced so many incredible things, that they will last forever in my mind.
There are many people who say, “I wish I did this and I wish I did that”. Well I can assure you that Pat did just this and did just that. Until this dreadful disease took over, she had lived a wonderful life.
At the remembrance ceremony we held at First Parish, I shared a story about our trip up the coast of California along the famous Pacific Coast Highway 1 in 1976. We were traveling from San Diego to San Francisco at the same time the monarch butterflies were migrating to Alaska. We had camped out at Big Sur overlooking the ocean and when we woke, there were 10,000 butterflies surrounding us both in and outside our tent. It was not only beautiful it was magical. When we got to Mount Tamalpais north of San Francisco to watch the sun go down, we noticed that there were less butterflies. It was then we realized that although we were done with our trip, they were continuing on with theirs. So we stood up and waved good-bye wishing them luck.
This was the metaphor I used to describe my extraordinary life with Pat. The trip along the coast was our life together and the fact that the butterflies don’t stay, illustrates how fleeting it all is and that life itself doesn’t last. So although my life with Pat is over, my memories of that life will last forever. She made me a better man and taught me how to love. She gave me courage, compassion and a sense of adventure. She put me at ease. She was my best friend, a loving wife and mother and the best thing that ever happened to me.
I am also lucky to have a job that I love and I’m so grateful to be back working again. My bereavement counselor suggested that it was the best medicine right now and she is right. She also said that if I get teary eyed and even break down for a good cry now and then, that is only natural. So please bear with me, if my eyes seem a little moist, I’ve been reflecting on how lucky I am that I had this life with my dear Patsy. I am a rich man having known a love and a woman like her as well as to be living in a community that cares. Thank you all for being there for me at my darkest hour.
Last week, I had a meeting with Jim Goebelbecker, the Executive Officer of Housing Families and he informed me that over $1500 in donations came in under Pat’s name to the organization. They came from individuals, local businesses, community organizations and old friends. It was a wonderful tribute to Pat and we are eternally grateful for your kindness to others as Pat would have wanted. She is smiling down on this community as I smile up towards her. Thank you all.
